Turning a bad joke into a happy ending
Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 7:59PM A young friend associated with the Casey Anthony case has been out of commission for some time now. That’s because she had been “with child” and wanted a lengthy break, which is still ongoing. She lives in Mississippi with her husband and two children. Check that… three children now. The closest I ever got to her was in June of 2009, when my lifelong best friend and I took a scenic road trip through Enterprise, Alabama en route to Natchez, Mississippi. I wrote about our adventure, but to be honest, Natchez is 180 miles from where she lives, and Stew and I were in no mood to hang around screaming children. Besides, I didn’t know her then. Heck, I didn’t go to my first hearing on the Anthony case until four months later, in October of that year, when the most Honorable Judge Stan Strickland called me up to the bench, six full months before the defense filed that senseless motion against him. What a crying shame.
Speaking of crying shames, screaming children and newborn babies, someone (singular or plural) decided to play a dirty little trick on me. There are two people who come to mind and I’m sure they are the guilty party, but instead of getting angry, well, let’s just say I didn’t. A lot of you are aware of certain blogs run by narcissistic, angry, convoluted and egotistical women who seem to hate men and have a strong penchant and predisposition toward spreading lies. Trust me, I’m not their first target, nor will I be their last. In any event, a chubby little thing with no brains who lives in Texas started spreading a dumb rumor that I was the father of the little papoose-to-be in Mississippi. Wow, methinks she gave my manhood way too much credit. All the way from Orlando to north Mississippi. That’s quite a S - T - R - E - T - C - H, but thank you very much.
Some of you may not know that I am 58-years-old and my baby days are long gone unless I make my way to Hollywood and marry a young starlet, but that’s not going to happen. As much as I love children, acting grandfatherly is more like it, the key element being grand, not just fatherly. At my age, raising children, among other things, would prove problematic, but we won’t go there.
On December 15, I received an e-mail from the Cord Blood Registry. Cord blood collection is a great thing. After the birth of a child, blood is extracted from the umbilical cord. It’s loaded with stem cells, including hematopoietic cells, which can be used to treat blood and genetic disorders. The placenta is a better source of stem cells for other treatments because it contains up to ten times more than cord blood, but cord blood could help your child later on in life. Why someone would want to play a cruel and stupid trick on something good is a bad thing, but as soon as that e-mail arrived, I called the toll-free number. That’s all it took. Problem solved, but if you think it ended there, guess again. Suddenly, all sorts of e-mails arrived, including one from American Baby magazine. Well, I declare! Someone was gracious enough to sign me up for a subscription, and darn if I didn’t call them, too. Only this time, I transferred the subscription to my friend in Mississippi, free of charge and compliments of her chubby ex-friend in Texas. Thank you, chubby little ex-friend in Texas! And American Baby, of course.
Since mid-December, I have received e-mails from Gerber, Fisher-Price, Upromise, Enfamil, Parenting magazine, and Similac. Most names are probably familiar except, perhaps, Upromise, which its Web site states, “is a free service that helps you get money for college bills and student loans from the things you do all the time: buy groceries, shop online, fill your gas tank and much more.” It sounds like a great idea and I’m glad to help.
This morning, I got a heavy package in the mail. It was a whole case of Similac Advance Complete Nutrition formula, perfect for the first year! Just what I needed! Here’s why… It’s just the same as all of the calls I’ve had to make, only more. With the e-mails and snail-mail I’m receiving, I call the companies and explain the situation. I tell them there are some very spiteful women out there, only a handful, mind you, but since Casey Anthony is a narcissist, the case attracts narcissists just like her. Birds of a feather. Peas in a pod sort of thing. Oh yeah. I tell them I am a writer and ask them if they want to see my Web site. YES! Of course, they do, so I tell them. Today, I called Similac and told them it was mean and nasty what was done. The woman on the other end told me to donate the formula, so guess what I did? I called a nearby church and took it down there, compliments of Marinade Dave, but with only one small stipulation. Would they make sure all of those young mothers get my blog address? Sure thing. It’s also 24 new people who will learn about my blog if they haven’t already. Visit marinadedave.com. If I receive more junk in the mail, I will do the same thing; turn a bad joke into a very good thing. Fortunately, that’s how my mind works. I find good in everything, and now a lot of nice, young, mothers and customer service reps will be stopping by my blog. A little “self-promotionalization taken to the fullest extent” as P.T. Barnum might have said.
Thanks, ladies, although calling you that is even more of a S - T - R - E - T - C - H! Keep up the good work and, thanks to you, I may be able to finagle a free college education for my friend’s newborn.
Dave Knechel | tagged American Baby, Cord Blood Registry, Enfamil, Fisher-Price, Gerber, P.T. Barnum, Parenting, Similac, upromise | in Casey Anthony, Caylee Anthony, Dave Knechel, David B. Knechel, David Knechel, Family, Human Interest, Humor, Judge Stan Strickland, Marinade Dave, Marinade Dave Knechel, Marinade Dave’s Caylee Anthony Posts, marinadedave | Share Article | 1 Reference 
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Reader Comments (115)
Dave, I am so glad that you were able to turn something bad into something good. I am sure that all those ladies that got the formula from church will be more than happy to come and read your blog. I am sure after reading it the first time that they will be making many return visits because they will enjoy it as much as we all do. It is a great way to advertise! That is a great "formula" for success!
What a wonderful idea Dave! I am glad you put that baby formula to good use. It will be nice to have a few new people around. See you tomorrow, don't be late.
OH MY GOD! LOL
Bless you, Dave. You really made lemonade out of lemons. I'm sure some people will be very grateful for your donations.
I'm sorry for what you have to go through; but, your article really made me laugh. I enjoyed your humor. I hope you don't mind, I guess I needed a chuckle as I've been reviewing Cindy's FBI interview.
LOL, You go Dave, tell them to bring it on. You got the last laugh.
Oh Dave, What a wonderful story.... I love it! If this is not poetic justice, then I don't know what is! On another note, I have been to Enterprise, AL. What a quaint place. I loved the monument in the center of the town - to the Boll weevil (sp.). I remember getting a good chuckle seeing that statue. I can't remember the story behind the insect they honor, but it had something to do with their cotton crop, and the Boll Wevill somehow saving their crops from total destruction.
Anyway Dave, you're story is brilliant... It's wonderful that you turned it all around to benefit others and also to promote your blog. Terrific!
As they say, a little humor goes far!
Dave, I laughed my ass off when I read this post. Deep, from the belly, tears in my eyes, laughter. Thank you!! I needed that. I'm still picturing these damn fools thinking they've gotten one over on you by registering you in these programs where you ultimately receive free baby products. Donating formula to a local church. Great idea!
We have a program around where I live called "Basics for Babies". Similiar to the food bank, but you donate things like formula, diapers, baby clothes, etc. It's most popular at Christmas time and endorsed by a local radio station. They'd love to get a case of formula. Many young moms need the assistance. Good on you for making lemonade out of lemons.
I love your sense of humor! That you try to find good in the bad and try to make good out of the intended bad shows a good naturedness on your part.
New Puppy~~I told you Dave was a good blog Daddy. Now I can officially call you my blog Mommie. I always wanted a Mommie and Daddy in my old age as I have gone back to my second childhood.
I'll betcha that Similac would taste real good. I could just spit out my dentures and drink that straight from the can....mmmm ma num a num.
I must thank the Chubby one in Texas for making my blog Daddy and all the mothers around Casselberry berry berry happy.
Blog Daddy, I like the way you tried to S T R E T C H things....ya gotta watch you don't get a hernia.
Thank you Dave for keeping me abreast of thease recent developments....Some people dont know when to leave well enough alone.An will milk any opertunity to be childish an make tits of themselfs.Just ignore them or use it for someones elses benifit .Its definatly a winning formula...No puns were harmed in the writting of this post...
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There is a baby who will not go to beddy byes hungry tonight due to the generosity of one Marinade Dave. Will Marinade Dave's name go into the annals as the man that took down a judge or for sparing the babies of Casselberry from malnutrition and starvation?
Maybe he will end up in Ripley's Believe it or Not but that may be quite a S-T-R-E-T-C-H....
But Snoopysleuth, I don't want to be a Blog Mommie because Blog Daddy is meeting up with a young lady. I plan on taking that little stretch he's so proud of and make a slingshot out of it to put a bump on their heads. I don't know about hers but his is gonna show when the sun shines on it.
Ecossie, I see you definitely did keep a breast. Dave got some great advertising out of all this. While the babies have their sleepy time, their mommies will be reading and commenting on this blog.
New Puppy, arrangements have been made with the paparazzi that a certain man and a certain young woman will be in their telescopic lens. This may dispel a lot of rumors that are being bandied about. Dave is a celebrity now so this goes with the territory.
Gee, those lovely blidiots have been good for business for you, Dave. If they keep it up they may make you Casselberry's #1 philanthropist!
LOL, ecossie!
Oooh, Snoopy! Dave better put some shades on his pic in the banner!
Well Dave sorry to ruin all the fun but this " chubby lil thang " from tx didnt send you baby formula but I have to say what you did with the formula was very nice and non media whore like.. I am proud of you....
PS Sry about the Baby Momma Drama....
Well good for you, Dave! You could have gotten a receipt for the formula and used it as a tax deduction! The way they're going I wouldn't be surprised to read you opened your door one day and found a talking lamb saying "are you mah daaaaaaaaaddddyyy?" !
At 58 you might not be the man you used to be but you're sure the man you want to be! (think there's a country song out there that goes like that).
Seriously?! Grown women act this way? Oh my gosh! How pathetic,juvenile and classless!! Thats like ordering a pizza to someone elses house....Grow up ladies!! Great job Dave on turning it around and sticking it right back to them...Instead of getting upset (like they wanted) you laughed it off and helped some babies in need! KUDOS to you!!!
Greetings Dave,
Bravo! Way to go Dave. Much better than getting angry, right?
This is great, Dave! Oh, Lawdie- Who knows, maybe you'll be put in a contest for a new mini-van, natch, for all those kids you've fathered! A nice Town-n-Country- those are beauties!
Ecossie- you're killin' me!
:-) Good going, and easy sailing, Dave!
Dear Dave, Good job just donate that Similac. You have tried to help people since you have had this blog. I still remember all those videos you made for us in the Florida summer heat before you got your new camera. So that we could see what the Anthonys' area looked like. Hope you have a GREAT day. It is very cold here in south Texas--not as cold and snowy as back east though. I pray every day for all the people and animals in those horrible snow storms. Dont know how they manage. I can hardly have presence of mind to get up and get dressed for work let alone have to shovel snow to get out of the driveway. Hardy determined people up there.
What a great post! It's nice to turn mean actions into something positive. I hope they keep it up. LOL!
Hi Stewie, good to see you!
One day Dave is going to open his door and find a goat standing there. Some babies can only tolerate goats milk. I am sure that Dave can master the art of milking the animal and then make home deliveries to all the mothers in the area.
SS, I'm sure he could learn. I've seen him milk a cat before.
Hi, Mary Jo, I fell asleep early last night and that's why I didn't answer you or any other commenters.
You know, not only was I able to turn something bad into good, I hope this serves as a good lesson to whoever reads it. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Thanks! You are right, it is the "formula" for success. Very good!
Thank you, Laura, even though we are together now. Too bad it's a rainy day, but we will have tons of fun.
I had a feeling you would get a big kick out of it, New Puppy. Thanks! It shows my resolve and resilience. Never give up, especially to a strange woman who announced she owns me. No one owns anyone. That's pure evil.
Hi, nan11 - Yes, I did make lemonade out of lemons, and that's probably what I should have titled the post. Of course, people are appreciative, and this has been uplifting for me. If you get a tough steak, make stew out of it. The whole thing has been food for the soul.
Oh, Margaret, they continue to bring it on, so when will I get the last laugh? I don't know. They are a cancer. Sister Blisters made a very poignant statement on her blog last night, but cancer doesn't have a brain. It can't think, it just reacts.
Thanks!
Laura, if you are reading this, make sure he takes you to the Waffle House and don't skip dessert!!
Hi, Andrea, this is what I wrote after our trip:
Stew spent some Army time at Fort Rucker in Enterprise, home of the world famous Boll Weevil monument in the town square. Word also has it that Enterprise is the Peanut Capital of the World, or so Stew and some of the natives told me upon arriving. I also found out that the monument is the only one in the world erected to honor an insect, an agricultural pest to be more precise. It seems that by 1918, farmers were losing entire cotton crops to the pesky critters and an "enterprising" businessman saw this as an opportunity to convert the area to peanut farming. The rest is history. In Coffee County, no less. Today, the statue stands as a testament to the power of positive thinking by turning bad news into a happy ending.
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That's what happened after the pesky little creature came along. That's what my detractors are. Insects. I went from one crop to another, but there will never be a testament to any of them.
Thank you for enjoying my post. I had fun writing it, too.
Nothing better than a little humor to brighten up a day, terrytsk, only I took it a step further. I brightened up the lives of many a mother, and that's rewarding. I'm very pleased it brought you a deep from the belly laugh and tears in your eyes. Believe me, it made me chuckle, too, as the whole thing transpired. I'm sure I'll be signed up for new gifts, but I'll do the same thing again and again. As long as there is a marketable product or service, there will be people who need it. I will continue donating and taking the credit for it. After all, all I tell them is the truth.
Thank you, and let me tell you, the lemonade was very sweet!
Hi, Sherry - No one ever accused me of not having a sense of humor. No one has ever accused me of being selfish, either, and it's in my heart to help those in need whenever I can. Here was a wonderful opportunity to not only help, but to gain a little positive publicity, which far outweighs whatever the cockroaches throw my way. Yes, I am a good natured person. What did they think I would do? Have a meltdown? HAH! LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! How dumb.
Thanks, I'm glad you love my sense of humor. This is really the sort of thing I enjoy writing about; human nature in a humorous vein. After the trial, I'll go back to writing more like it.
Hi, Snoopy - Yes, there's no need to aggravate my hernias. Yup, plural. Maybe I should take a milk bath, huh? The moo kind. That should be invigorating.
Snoopy~ I want to go to Cheesecake Factory! Maybe Waffle House for breakfast before the beach tomorrow.
Hi, ecossie possie - For those freaks to think I'm too stupid to milk it for what it's worth, well, they totally underestimate me. Thanks. They certainly are a goofy bunch of boobs.
Hey, you're quite humorous, too, if you don't mind me saying so.
Hey, Snoopy! The mayor of Casselberry is going to name Friday as Honorary Marinade Dave Day because of the milk drive I started. See? Pay it forward.
Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people, so I have been told.
You did a great thing! Hope all is well
They sure are blidiots, Sherry. I wonder if being drunk all the time has something to do with it.
Dave WTG big guy, thanks for the smiles. I appreciate humor like this.
Hi, ChubbyLilThang - Nope, it's not you who did it. That person from Texas makes it a neverending habit of mocking people for their looks and I decided it was time to put her in her place. She's absolutely worthless and repulsive. Her life revolves around people she can diss online. That's a sure sign of low self-esteem, and plenty of it. All they know how to do is complain and lie.
You know, I don't consider myself a prize, but I don't go around trashing people, either. Your words are uplifting. Thanks for being proud of me. I had to do the right thing and it seems that you have a good head on your shoulders. I'm proud of you, too.
I'm not sure I understand the human nature behind some of this.
Insults, name calling, derogatory comments, malicious behavior, and really stupid not so practical jokes in the name of "justice" for a little girl murdered?
Wouldn't one want to discuss issues, and differing opinions in a mature, logical manner? Why march under a banner of justice that lacks dignity?
I'm still not sure why people have issue with you going to court, or blogging on the subject. I am not sure how they can claim that if it hadn't been for you, there wouldn't have been a recusal. In my opinion that's taking a crumb of accusation, and attempting to turn it into a banquet of truth. Desert ends up morsels of subjective posturing, a whipped topping of innuendo and rumor mongering. The smart guests are going to go away hungry. But then again, smart people weren't included on the guest list.
If people would spend more time on the legal issues, the strategies, and lessons learned, instead of who wore what, how their hair looked, or even who they sat next to, they might learn more about their own bill of rights, and the court system in general. Such as all of the defense motions.
I might not agree with the content of some of the motions the defense files, but I do understand that that is part of defending their client. It is true, if you never ask, there is never a chance that you will get anything.
I understand people want justice for Caylee, but can't that be accomplished in a dignified manner? I hope the example set by Dave resonates.
Stewie, it is nice to see you here. You should comment more often. It is always nice to have one of Dave's good friends here.
Laurali, have a great time in Orlando and enjoy the cheesecake Factory. Too bad we all didn't plan ahead so we could all meet down there. A good time would be had by all.
Gee, Connie, I didn't think about a tax deduction, but since I didn't pay for it, I wouldn't have felt right about it. Thank you for the comment about me being the man I want to be. That's true. Hopefully, my writing will pay off one day.
"I'm her father," he said sheepishly, as if to quietly get the old goats attention.
That sort of thing.
Yes, Celeste, grown women DO act that way. Physically, anyway. Mentally, it's quite evident their minds never left 3rd grade, and that's why they were never allowed to comment on my blog. They consider the Casey Anthony case to be nothing more than a giant playground where they bully others around. I'm sure they'd try the pizza trick except for the fact that their phone numbers show up. If they block it, the pizzaria will not honor it. The phone number has got to match the address or no delivery. As for growing up, they are so set in their ways, there is no room to advance. I'm telling you, it's a 3rd grade mentality, and that's a liberal assessment. Believe me, as much as I wanted to stick it to them, I got far more satisfaction out of helping others. Thank you. That's what I'm all about.
Hi, Frankie - The satisfaction is unreal and, yes, it was the way to go. 100%! You know, I never once got angry over it, nor did it enter my mind to retaliate. Did I mention I love babies and if I can help young families in any way, I will? Thanks!
Hi, Karen - Boy, if I were to win a new Chrysler Town & Country, there would be no stopping the donations I could deliver, and you know what? I would do it every single day. Thanks, it gives me something to work on...