Turning a bad joke into a happy ending
Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 7:59PM A young friend associated with the Casey Anthony case has been out of commission for some time now. That’s because she had been “with child” and wanted a lengthy break, which is still ongoing. She lives in Mississippi with her husband and two children. Check that… three children now. The closest I ever got to her was in June of 2009, when my lifelong best friend and I took a scenic road trip through Enterprise, Alabama en route to Natchez, Mississippi. I wrote about our adventure, but to be honest, Natchez is 180 miles from where she lives, and Stew and I were in no mood to hang around screaming children. Besides, I didn’t know her then. Heck, I didn’t go to my first hearing on the Anthony case until four months later, in October of that year, when the most Honorable Judge Stan Strickland called me up to the bench, six full months before the defense filed that senseless motion against him. What a crying shame.
Speaking of crying shames, screaming children and newborn babies, someone (singular or plural) decided to play a dirty little trick on me. There are two people who come to mind and I’m sure they are the guilty party, but instead of getting angry, well, let’s just say I didn’t. A lot of you are aware of certain blogs run by narcissistic, angry, convoluted and egotistical women who seem to hate men and have a strong penchant and predisposition toward spreading lies. Trust me, I’m not their first target, nor will I be their last. In any event, a chubby little thing with no brains who lives in Texas started spreading a dumb rumor that I was the father of the little papoose-to-be in Mississippi. Wow, methinks she gave my manhood way too much credit. All the way from Orlando to north Mississippi. That’s quite a S - T - R - E - T - C - H, but thank you very much.
Some of you may not know that I am 58-years-old and my baby days are long gone unless I make my way to Hollywood and marry a young starlet, but that’s not going to happen. As much as I love children, acting grandfatherly is more like it, the key element being grand, not just fatherly. At my age, raising children, among other things, would prove problematic, but we won’t go there.
On December 15, I received an e-mail from the Cord Blood Registry. Cord blood collection is a great thing. After the birth of a child, blood is extracted from the umbilical cord. It’s loaded with stem cells, including hematopoietic cells, which can be used to treat blood and genetic disorders. The placenta is a better source of stem cells for other treatments because it contains up to ten times more than cord blood, but cord blood could help your child later on in life. Why someone would want to play a cruel and stupid trick on something good is a bad thing, but as soon as that e-mail arrived, I called the toll-free number. That’s all it took. Problem solved, but if you think it ended there, guess again. Suddenly, all sorts of e-mails arrived, including one from American Baby magazine. Well, I declare! Someone was gracious enough to sign me up for a subscription, and darn if I didn’t call them, too. Only this time, I transferred the subscription to my friend in Mississippi, free of charge and compliments of her chubby ex-friend in Texas. Thank you, chubby little ex-friend in Texas! And American Baby, of course.
Since mid-December, I have received e-mails from Gerber, Fisher-Price, Upromise, Enfamil, Parenting magazine, and Similac. Most names are probably familiar except, perhaps, Upromise, which its Web site states, “is a free service that helps you get money for college bills and student loans from the things you do all the time: buy groceries, shop online, fill your gas tank and much more.” It sounds like a great idea and I’m glad to help.
This morning, I got a heavy package in the mail. It was a whole case of Similac Advance Complete Nutrition formula, perfect for the first year! Just what I needed! Here’s why… It’s just the same as all of the calls I’ve had to make, only more. With the e-mails and snail-mail I’m receiving, I call the companies and explain the situation. I tell them there are some very spiteful women out there, only a handful, mind you, but since Casey Anthony is a narcissist, the case attracts narcissists just like her. Birds of a feather. Peas in a pod sort of thing. Oh yeah. I tell them I am a writer and ask them if they want to see my Web site. YES! Of course, they do, so I tell them. Today, I called Similac and told them it was mean and nasty what was done. The woman on the other end told me to donate the formula, so guess what I did? I called a nearby church and took it down there, compliments of Marinade Dave, but with only one small stipulation. Would they make sure all of those young mothers get my blog address? Sure thing. It’s also 24 new people who will learn about my blog if they haven’t already. Visit marinadedave.com. If I receive more junk in the mail, I will do the same thing; turn a bad joke into a very good thing. Fortunately, that’s how my mind works. I find good in everything, and now a lot of nice, young, mothers and customer service reps will be stopping by my blog. A little “self-promotionalization taken to the fullest extent” as P.T. Barnum might have said.
Thanks, ladies, although calling you that is even more of a S - T - R - E - T - C - H! Keep up the good work and, thanks to you, I may be able to finagle a free college education for my friend’s newborn.
Dave Knechel | tagged American Baby, Cord Blood Registry, Enfamil, Fisher-Price, Gerber, P.T. Barnum, Parenting, Similac, upromise | in Casey Anthony, Caylee Anthony, Dave Knechel, David B. Knechel, David Knechel, Family, Human Interest, Humor, Judge Stan Strickland, Marinade Dave, Marinade Dave Knechel, Marinade Dave’s Caylee Anthony Posts, marinadedave | Share Article | 1 Reference 
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Reader Comments (115)
Unfortunately, Peggy, I will be the only obsession of wordslinger and the dutch hen until after my death. Long after. They made it clear they want to kill me.
Dave, I love the way you turned the table on them..A case of similac is quite expensive so i'm sure they did appreciate it..Now! If these idiots will tell them you are old and need help I can use those donations..All except the depends..Not that bad YET..lol.
I have a friend that lives in Cassellbury and is a nurse at i believe is the Seventh Day Adventist hospital there..So you never know..I may get the honor of meeting the "Milkman" some day...
Hi, GLENDA! I turned the table, alright, but when they read this post, they upped the ante. They are a nasty and vindictive group. If something unusual comes in the mail, it's going straight to SCSO. I don't trust any of those animals.
So, you have a friend in Casselberry. Yes, I know, it's easy to misspell. That would be Florida Hospital, by the way, and there are a number of them around the state, but I would guess she's at the Altamonte Springs location or on Rollins St. in Orlando. That's the mother ship. I would be honored to meet you some day. Since I was admitted twice in Altamonte, who knows, I may have met your friend, too. Yes, someday...
Gosh.. I'm simple.....Eggs...
???
Carole~~just for the record. I let my SnoopySleuth blog go idle as the bashers kept stealing my gravatar and setting up blogs in my name, also using my email. I set up a new blog that they will never get the email addy to... here is the link..it is also in Dave's blogroll...
MainStreamFair
Hi Dave, I enjoyed your article, as always, between you and the other comments it was entertaining. I am in a good mood tonight, it is my birthday, and I am just grateful to be alive! Turner Classic Movie channel is showing "Gone With The Wind" tonight, it is one of my favorite movies, you really wanted to know that didn't you? I don't comment much but I check in daily, your site is one of the first places I found on the internet, I still have so much to learn, this is my first computer. I didn't know what I was going to do with it and then I found a Casey Anthony story on your site and well now I spend all my spare time following the case. I am sorry I am way off topic, long story short, I am glad I found you!
Pam2u4u,
Hope you had a very Happy Birthday and you have many many more!
HAPPY BIRTHD.AY, Pam!!! I'm sorry I missed you last night. I was asleep when you came in. I sure hope you had a nice day and enjoyed GWTW. I like that movie, too. When I was a freshman in high school, the history department took us on a field trip to the Hunterdon Theater, now long gone. We watched GWYW on the big screen. It was a great experience. What a movie, so I can understand it being your favorite.
Gee, that was 45 years ago.
Sorry Dave, Somehow what I posted to my brother ended up here.....
I really am simple
No problem, Kara, sometimes it's tough separating the whites from the yolks. We get scrambled occasionally.
Pam2u4u - my bd is also Feb 12 and I love GWTW. It is my fav classic movie. I will have to see if it's going to be shown again and dvr it. I haven't seen it in years. And like you I spent a lot of my free time catching up on Casey Anthony case. I can't wait until she's behind bars for good. I keep telling my friends I'm going to quit following this case as it is an addiction that I need to break!
HAPPY Belated BIRTHDAY to you, too, PattiO!
Don't quit yet, I'm about to put a new post up.
Dear Dave,
Thank you for allowing to join your blog. I wanted to comment earlier on, but that was when your email got hacked and I decided to wait awhile. I have certainly received a lesson in "blog wars" since then.
Anyway, my daughter-in-law had the same thing happen to her after a fall out with a "friend". With her it was knitting supplies, craft, magazines etc. It freaked her out, but I told her, just ignore it, notify the companies and pray for that person. I am a firm believer in what goes around, comes around! They will get theirs sooner or later, without our help.
I enjoy your site and can't wait for the next Casey hearing! Things are starting to get good! Hope you are able to get a seat at the trial!
Hi, Cindy - And I am quite happy you wanted to join the blog. Thank you! I want everyone to know that the e-mail submissions from here, on the lower left sidebar, are safe and secure.
Your poor sister. I don't know what drives people to do the things they do. Most of the creeps have never had any contact with me whatsoever. They have claimed I am worse than Hitler and that I would die in 666 days. They consider this to be normal behavior. In all honesty, they would prefer to save Casey's life if it meant taking mine. They are one sad and mentally deranged bunch. One of the nuts is telling them I tried to steal $20,000 from her. All the way from Holland. She and her crony. The other one says she owns me.
Oh well... thank you, and keep in mind this blog is a peaceful place. You are quite welcome in my humble abode.