Turning a bad joke into a happy ending
Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 7:59PM A young friend associated with the Casey Anthony case has been out of commission for some time now. That’s because she had been “with child” and wanted a lengthy break, which is still ongoing. She lives in Mississippi with her husband and two children. Check that… three children now. The closest I ever got to her was in June of 2009, when my lifelong best friend and I took a scenic road trip through Enterprise, Alabama en route to Natchez, Mississippi. I wrote about our adventure, but to be honest, Natchez is 180 miles from where she lives, and Stew and I were in no mood to hang around screaming children. Besides, I didn’t know her then. Heck, I didn’t go to my first hearing on the Anthony case until four months later, in October of that year, when the most Honorable Judge Stan Strickland called me up to the bench, six full months before the defense filed that senseless motion against him. What a crying shame.
Speaking of crying shames, screaming children and newborn babies, someone (singular or plural) decided to play a dirty little trick on me. There are two people who come to mind and I’m sure they are the guilty party, but instead of getting angry, well, let’s just say I didn’t. A lot of you are aware of certain blogs run by narcissistic, angry, convoluted and egotistical women who seem to hate men and have a strong penchant and predisposition toward spreading lies. Trust me, I’m not their first target, nor will I be their last. In any event, a chubby little thing with no brains who lives in Texas started spreading a dumb rumor that I was the father of the little papoose-to-be in Mississippi. Wow, methinks she gave my manhood way too much credit. All the way from Orlando to north Mississippi. That’s quite a S - T - R - E - T - C - H, but thank you very much.
Some of you may not know that I am 58-years-old and my baby days are long gone unless I make my way to Hollywood and marry a young starlet, but that’s not going to happen. As much as I love children, acting grandfatherly is more like it, the key element being grand, not just fatherly. At my age, raising children, among other things, would prove problematic, but we won’t go there.
On December 15, I received an e-mail from the Cord Blood Registry. Cord blood collection is a great thing. After the birth of a child, blood is extracted from the umbilical cord. It’s loaded with stem cells, including hematopoietic cells, which can be used to treat blood and genetic disorders. The placenta is a better source of stem cells for other treatments because it contains up to ten times more than cord blood, but cord blood could help your child later on in life. Why someone would want to play a cruel and stupid trick on something good is a bad thing, but as soon as that e-mail arrived, I called the toll-free number. That’s all it took. Problem solved, but if you think it ended there, guess again. Suddenly, all sorts of e-mails arrived, including one from American Baby magazine. Well, I declare! Someone was gracious enough to sign me up for a subscription, and darn if I didn’t call them, too. Only this time, I transferred the subscription to my friend in Mississippi, free of charge and compliments of her chubby ex-friend in Texas. Thank you, chubby little ex-friend in Texas! And American Baby, of course.
Since mid-December, I have received e-mails from Gerber, Fisher-Price, Upromise, Enfamil, Parenting magazine, and Similac. Most names are probably familiar except, perhaps, Upromise, which its Web site states, “is a free service that helps you get money for college bills and student loans from the things you do all the time: buy groceries, shop online, fill your gas tank and much more.” It sounds like a great idea and I’m glad to help.
This morning, I got a heavy package in the mail. It was a whole case of Similac Advance Complete Nutrition formula, perfect for the first year! Just what I needed! Here’s why… It’s just the same as all of the calls I’ve had to make, only more. With the e-mails and snail-mail I’m receiving, I call the companies and explain the situation. I tell them there are some very spiteful women out there, only a handful, mind you, but since Casey Anthony is a narcissist, the case attracts narcissists just like her. Birds of a feather. Peas in a pod sort of thing. Oh yeah. I tell them I am a writer and ask them if they want to see my Web site. YES! Of course, they do, so I tell them. Today, I called Similac and told them it was mean and nasty what was done. The woman on the other end told me to donate the formula, so guess what I did? I called a nearby church and took it down there, compliments of Marinade Dave, but with only one small stipulation. Would they make sure all of those young mothers get my blog address? Sure thing. It’s also 24 new people who will learn about my blog if they haven’t already. Visit marinadedave.com. If I receive more junk in the mail, I will do the same thing; turn a bad joke into a very good thing. Fortunately, that’s how my mind works. I find good in everything, and now a lot of nice, young, mothers and customer service reps will be stopping by my blog. A little “self-promotionalization taken to the fullest extent” as P.T. Barnum might have said.
Thanks, ladies, although calling you that is even more of a S - T - R - E - T - C - H! Keep up the good work and, thanks to you, I may be able to finagle a free college education for my friend’s newborn.
Dave Knechel | tagged American Baby, Cord Blood Registry, Enfamil, Fisher-Price, Gerber, P.T. Barnum, Parenting, Similac, upromise | in Casey Anthony, Caylee Anthony, Dave Knechel, David B. Knechel, David Knechel, Family, Human Interest, Humor, Judge Stan Strickland, Marinade Dave, Marinade Dave Knechel, Marinade Dave’s Caylee Anthony Posts, marinadedave | Share Article | 1 Reference 
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Reader Comments (115)
Thank you, Feathers. How nice it is to see you. I hope things have settled down in your life. Please come by when you can.
Hi, Martha - I have forever strived to help people when I can. As for the videos, there are tons of people who didn't know the area from news reports. I wanted to bring them right there, to the scene. I hope I have done that, and that people have a better understanding of what transpired and where. Here in Orlando, it's only 55 degrees F, hardly a good day to go to the beach. Stay safe, and thanks. Fortunately, wildlife knows how to fend for themselves, even when it's sub-zero. Animals are very much a priority to me.
Thank you, Stewie! Whatever the idiots sign me up to, I will find a place to take it. There's resilience in my blood, as you well know.
Ain't that the truth, Marsha, but I've been waiting a long time. Good things have happened in my life, plenty of times, but the bad things are slow to come to those who deserve nothing more.
Thank you, I know I did the right and only thing. All is well, and I hope so in your world, too. Great to see you!
Sorry about your comment, cali patti. It was stuck in moderation and I must have overlooked it. I'm glad you appreciate humor like this. It was the right thing to do and people will get a lot of good out of it. The irony was rich, and that's where I found the most humor. Thank you!
I'm sorry, Kara Zor El, your comment, along with cali patti's, was stuck in moderation.
Your comment speaks so well about the values that should be inherent in this discourse about the murder. Those people are mutations, that's all. Their childish actions prove they never cared about justice for Caylee. All they want is to ruin people. That is their only mission in life. They must be human train wrecks in real life - animals seeking their prey at any and all costs. Oh well, your comment stands proudly on its own merits. No one could have said it better. Thank you. Too bad they will attack you for it, like the mad dogs they are.
Judge Rules On Key Evidence In Casey Case
Hi Dave-
I wasn't worried about being stuck in moderation. I know you had lots to catch up on.
They can attack alll they wish, my dignity and integrity are kinda like teflon, nothing can stick to them.
Thanks for your kind words on my observations.
(I've been busy building my website, so I haven't done much more than lurk lately)
Regards-
K
Dave, I read your article again just for the fun of it, and to see if it was really that funny, and it made me laugh out loud again. Tickled my fancy for some reason. I wasn't aware that you were being named as the father of the newborn baby of a reader that you've never met in person. I learned that in the ensuing comments and it adds to the humor somewhat but the article stands alone. A baby in Orlando (or maybe 2 or 3 of them) is going to bed with a full belly and that makes me smile.
I read a book many, many years ago in the 70's. It was called "The World According to Garp". I think a movie may have been made of it, but I'm not sure about that. I just remember laughing and laughing as I read certain parts of this book. I was using public transit at the time, so between sitting at a bus stop or sitting on the bus, I'm sure people thought I was nuts as I sat there reading and laughing out loud with tears streaming down my face because it was just so funny.
That's how your article struck me. Human frailties and bad behaviors are unpleasant, but it's okay to laugh sometimes. We are only human. Something good could come out of it if we choose to make lemonade out of lemons.
Dave,
You are ALL that is GOOD!!! You made a wrong an incredibly GREAT right!!! It made my night to read your take on their shenannigans!! You are a good soul with a "Great" spirit!!! I had all but given up on smiling as this has been a long, cold, winter. Tonight that changed and between you and Snoopy and Ecossie, I am beaming from ear to ear. There are alot of little babies out there tonight, sleeping sound with bellies full of scrumptious similac!! LOL!!!! I haven't been commenting lately. I found myslef a victim of an internet hacking and was financially crushed for a bit. I was afraid to write or comment as they were so quick at crushing me. It all worked out in my favor in the end and I was able to recover every single penny that was taken but I must say it sure was depressing! lol Tonight I know I was feeling sorry for myself and to read on this site lets me know that "Life is AGAIN Good" and I can't think of a better place to go to smile! And......"The World According to Garp" was made a movie starring Robin Williams. What a great book to bring into this story! Don't let the undertoad get ya!!! lol I love laughing tears!!!! I am feeling refreshed! Thank you Dave! Thankyou All!!!
Nan - I'm going to try to write about those motions if I can find the time to do so. None of the judges rulings surprised me at all. Thanks for the link.
Hi, Kara Zor-El - You know, as much as I would never allow name calling on my blog, those people are the real Bozos. They make Baez look like a saint.
I got your message and I'll get back to you, if not tonight, then tomorrow morning.
Hi, terrytsk - Yes, the termite brain was spreading the dumb rumor that I was ths father, and the flock of cockroaches bought right into it. That shows you how dumb they really are. They actually did subscribe me to baby stuff. Trust me, more is on the way and whatever it is, I will find places to donate that, too, compliments of Marinade Dave.
The World According to Garp was a movie that came out in 1982. It starred Robin Williams, Glenn Close, Mary Beth Hurt, John Lithgow, and other well known actors like Hume Cronyn, Jessica Tandy and Swoozie Kurtz. I remember seeing it back then and it was a very good movie. As a matter of fact, that's the only time I saw it and I'd like to again. It was very entertaining. I know what you mean about drawing attention to yourself at an inopportune time. I've done it. Oh well, that's life. I'm certainly glad you enjoyed my article that much, because it was one of those pieces I just wrote from the hip; meaning it came from the heart and just flowed out. That's the type of story I enjoy writing because it flows naturally, and after this trial is over, I intend to do more of it. God knows, there's a wealth of subjects to pick on, and that's just one site. As for good coming from it, yes, what should have been sour turned into something sweet. It's all about what we make of it. Thank you again. Knowing what you know, that's quite a compliment.
Hi, SageMom - Given that I've never tasted Similac, nor do I have a desire to, I will take your word on it being scrumptious. To little babies, yes, I do believe that.
I'm so sorry you had the misfortune of being hacked. Trust me, I know all about it, but no one got into my bank accounts. That is a hideous thing to do. I sure am glad you got it all back, but it's still a form of rape, unfortunately. You were stripped of something that belonged to you and only you.
I am happy you came here and it brightened up your life. You know, that's very important to me. I hope that you will always find this to be an oasis. You are among friends here, and friends we will remain. Thank you. Remember, here you never need to knock. Come right in and relax.
SageMom~~I am so glad that some of us were able to put a smile back on your face. We need more articles just like this one of Dave's and believe me, it is sure uplifting. I am sorry you have had problems and am glad you were able to recoup your losses. My Mom always said, 'these things are sent to try us." All the pitfalls along the way make us wiser and stronger.
Can't you just picture 24 little strollers forming a circle around Dave in a photo op. The little babies all blowing bubbles and smiling at Dave. Dave making pattie cakes for them. OMG, that would be priceless.
Ecossie....where are ye matey? It's almost morning over there beyond the Atlantic.
Dave~~I thought you went to zzzzzz ville.
Just wanted to stop by and say kudos to you Dave for sharing your happy ending with us. I remember you mentioning your "crazy azz fans" were signing you up for a hodgepodge of "goodies and publications" that were clogging your mailbox and what a hassel it was, so glad you found a way to turn something so negative into an opportunity to help others and advertise your blog, you are one creative fella.(((HUGS)))
I'm sure Mississippi Momma appreciates the magazine subscription too. If you are reading this Misssissippi Momma, CONGRATULATIONS to you and yours for the newest addition to your family!!
Hello, katfish, how nice to see you. Yup, they are still up to their sick tricks. Tonight it got worse. wordslinger and cmaadmin openly stated that I will die in 666 days. Of course, they took it down after a complaint, but it was there, including a vulgar gay porn video. This is what they have stooped to. I don't think I can turn that into a positive, but, of course, wordslinger turned it around and blamed it on me.
I did register a complaint. That's all I will say about it. LE saw the link on her blog and they know who she is.
Thanks for the hugs. It sure is uplifting to know you are here, along with so many other great people. Thanks. I'm shocked at what they did tonight. They took it way over the limit this time.
Well well great job with the unbelievable childish crap that happened to you.
You did make lemonade...tastes great!
Thank you, CodieCodie. It's truly amazing that there are people like that in the world, but they took it to a whole new level tonight.
I'm glad you enjoyed the lemonade. It was a tasty batch I made.
Dave, great post! It's very refreshing to see someone's dirty trick turned into one's own good deed. You're a positive guy and a great writer. When it's all said and done, I hope you'll write a book about this case.
With sincere good wishes!
Well you've made some babies happy! View it as flattery Dave from some crazy admirers and ignore the idiots' actions.
Hi, Ali in WA - Best wishes to you, too! I just had to turn the joke around on them. They cannot stand to see me succeed in anything. Last night, they stated that I would be dead in 666 days. That's what we're dealing with here, insane people with no life outside of me. They live each day to see me die. How weird.
Thank you for seeing me in a true light. I love to write and it's nice to know it's appreciated. I will let you know if and when I will write a book, but I really do enjoy writing human interest stories with a humorous twist like this one. Words like yours are encouraging.
Hi, Patti O - I like making babies happy! Interestingly, the trolls are making it difficult to ignore them. I just received a new magazine in the mail, babytalk. "Straight talk for new moms" it says on the cover.
I understand I will be receiving more stuff like adult diapers. Good, there are lots of retirees in Florida. More stuff to give away in the name of Marinade Dave!
Dave-
Some of the infant, and new mom items you are recieving "gratis" would surely be a welcome donation to a domestic violence shelter.
Believe me, Kara, whatever "gifts" I receive will be put to good use. Every product has an audience and I will gladly donate everything to the right place, compliments of Marinade Dave!
Fun post ! BUT, I think you should give up the lemonade and go for obtaining the most expensive champagne money can buy. If you were to write a book based on your experiences, I believe it could be a winner. If not a book, an article for a magazine. I don't know that many people realize our laws have not caught up with the internet.
I must add, I do wish people would stop calling these trouble makers names since any negative term for them is way too complimary.
Well, Newbie, what a pleasant surprise! Actually, a bottle of Louis Roederer Cristal 3.00L 1999
Sku: 201796 would be in order, although I will only be able to have a sip or two. Right now, it's selling for $2,900. I'll buy it after I make the NYT best seller list. ]wink[
I built my blog on not allowing anyone to call people third grade names. Yes, we've run ourselves off the road on occasion, but that tenet still stands. We rise above all that. Thank you for reminding us all. It's always great to see you.
lol....my second paragraph wasn't meant as a reminder. I just think they are lower than any nasty name one might think to call them.
I sometimes think rabid dogs are saner and safer than they are. That's a sad thing to say, but it's true. All they want is war and death. Imagine if one of them ran a country. Move over Kim Jong Il.
Hi Dave,
I got home from the hospital today and finally had a chance to catch up on this latest. This may have been a joke on you, however just think about all the help that you are giving to some poor defenseless babies that were born and their parents cannot afford to buy the proper things for them. Even the magazines donated to the church for any young teen Moms would be a great gift.
You did a good thing and it goes to show that you are helping and thinking of others.
Hi, Janet - I am very happy you are home from the hospital, safe and sound. I trust all is well now.
You know, and I hate to say it like this, but crap can fertilize plants, so it's not always a bad thing. Someone had to figure that out many moons ago. Almost anything can be turned into something good.
Thank you, Janet. It's great to have you back.
Good job of turning something so ridiculous and childish into something good Dave. You really do have a real life whacked out stalker there. I'm glad there are a few states between the two of you.
Hi, Peggy - Yes, I did turn things around, but there are three I would actually call stalkers. The rest are the lunatic fringe, too dumb to lead, so most of them follow a woman in California who runs an offshoot of Heaven's Gate. They follow the Hail Bab Comet. The other two are in Holland and, of course, Texas. Instead of suicide, they predicted last night that I would be spilling blood, meaning death, in 666 days. It was documented and reported to the authorities, trust me.
These are a few of my favorites:
Fannie Flagg:1. Daisy Fay and the Miracle Man 2.Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe 3. A Redbird Christmas
Wally Lamb:1. I know this much is True 2. She's Come Undone
John Irving: 1. The World according to Garp 2.Cider House Rules 3. A Prayer for Owen Meaney
Edgar Guest Poetry "The Poet of the People"
AND MY FAVORITES OF THE FUTURE????
Drrrrruuuuummmm rrrroooollllll pllleeeeaaassseeee...........................................
DAVE KNECKEL : 1. Life's a Marinade
2. ???????
3. ???????
OK. Feel free to insert any title's you may have been throwing around. I know that Dave is sure to be NUMBER ONE on my list as well as any one of us Marinaders out there!!!!! Let the writing begin!
P.S.
I forgot one very important Author.
Mitch Albom: 1. The Five People You Meet In Heaven
I believe in this. I also believe that we cross paths with certain people for a reason. I know that I was meant to be here on this site for a reason. I again, thank my lucky stars for having a chance to converse with all of you wonderful people. I hope to meet you all one day, if not here, then in Heaven. So thankyou for that and know that it is a pleasure reading all of your thoughts and ideas. How wonderful life can be! Even amongst the bad there is good.
Hi, SageMom - I like your selection. I guess if I ever write a romance novel I'll have to change my name to Serenade Dave.
I remember watching "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" on TV. It was a wonderful production starring Jon Voight. I believe it was a Hallmark movie.
Hey... I see no reason why we can't all meet sometime. That would be a lovely thing to do.
Yes. It would be a lovely thing for all of us to meet. I can think of nothing better. And hah!!! Yes, "Life's a Serenade" sounds just as wonderful to read!!!!!
It's a nice thought because most of us only know each other on the Internet, but I was lucky to meet katfish one day at the courthouse. That was a real treat. I want everyone to know they can always call me. I enjoy talking on the phone more than e-mailing. I guess it's because I write that I like the instant conversation at times instead of commenting back and forth. I have a pile of e-mails I've yet to respond to and I hate not answering. Anyone can ask for my phone number. Too bad we can't make a giant conference call for now.
A giant conference call would be great! When my father was alive, every morning, bright and early, he would call. I would then call my sister who also had three way calling, and she would then call the eldest sister. There was never a morning missed. Even up to his last day here on this earth we relished in the happenings of each day. I also attended a Great Books class for a time. We all had instant conversation on all the different takes on wonderful books. Those were some of the best times! I feel that way as I read the conversations on this site. Snoopy, Katfish, ecossie posse, feathers, Boxcar Bob, peggy,...too many really to mention and I would feel terrible to leave any one of them out. Wouldn't it be grand to spend a day conversing with all of these great people? And afterward, what a great story it would be! I wonder Dave, if you know what an impact you have made on sooo many of us? When I think about the horrible things these mutants have done, I somehow manage to see just what good has come out of it and how you have encouraged people around the world to do what is right and to think things out in a fair and balanced way. So great it has all been and know that you have influenced so many. It would be a great honor to meet you Dave, and all the wonderful people who come to this site.
Hi Dave,
This was a great way to handle a silly situation. I am sure that the "ladies" had no idea you would not meltdown over their "funnies".
Now I have a problem with your blog.........I used to get an email when ever you had a new post and I was able to read it and keep up with the comments as they came in. I have stopped getting the emails so I have been checking my RSS feeds. I just found this posting this evening, even though I checked it last night and for the past several nights. It just showed up now and I am wondering why. It is so much reading to go thru all of the comments when I am 3 days behind. Do you have any idea why the notices of new posts are not coming to my email? I do NOT want to miss any of your posts and when I don't see anything for a few days I start worrying that you or your parents are alright. You must remember that to some of us your blogs are adicting.......and the best on the web!!.
Carole~~click on this link and you will see a place to subscribe...top right under the gorgeous man in the blue shirt...good luck!
To Subcribe to Marinade Dave's Blog
Thanks Snoopy! I think I got it this time. I don't know why I stopped getting it but hopefully I will get my notices on time now. For some reason I stopped getting your blog notices, also so I made sure that I signed up for yours.
It means a lot to have such fond memories, SageMom. My late grandfather used to call my mother every Saturday morning. She so looked forward to those calls. Even in this day and age, with technology and all, it would be a challenge to get everyone together at the same time since we come from different parts of the world. It would be nice, though, and it's certainly something to keep in mind.
You must have some incredible memories of those phone calls.
Hi, Carole - Yes, it was the best way to handle it and it is in my nature to handle things like this in a positive manner. I don't meltdown, either. It's wishful thinking on their part, just like the death threat by cma and wordslinger. How dare those women wish death upon someone. They need to be medicated. It's evil what they do.
I'm flattered you think my articles are addictive and the best on the Web. Thank you very much.
Thank you, Snoopy, for providing the link.
Hi Dave-
We could all "Skype".!!!!!!
(Thanks for your help. I think I've made some progress! next week will add those add'l pages.)
YES, Kara Zor-El, we definitely could all Skype. It's free Skype-to-Skype, too. We'll have to keep that in mind. We could be eSkype Artists.
Hey, it was my pleasure to help. Thanks for asking me.
"Hi, Peggy - Yes, I did turn things around, but there are three I would actually call stalkers. The rest are the lunatic fringe, too dumb to lead, so most of them follow a woman in California who runs an offshoot of Heaven's Gate. They follow the Hail Bab Comet. The other two are in Holland and, of course, Texas. Instead of suicide, they predicted last night that I would be spilling blood, meaning death, in 666 days. It was documented and reported to the authorities, trust me."
Oh good grief. Has anyone ever consulted with you about just why they are so fixated on you? That's just .... sick.
I used to allow the Dutch bag on my blog until she tried to destroy my readership by ordering me how to run it her way and her way only, so I can (remotely) understand due to the connection. She angered everyone here. The other two, well, cma came in and commented. She was nice, and suddenly, she turned on me for no reason. However, I did later find out that that's her MO. She does the same thing to everyone she turns on. I never had any indication. As for the California nut, I never saw her coming. She woke up one day and became totally fixated with me. We've never had any contact with each other. No interaction whatsoever. Crazy people have crazy ideas, and she's nuttier than a fruitcake. Look at her - her life revolves around me. One person. Only me. She linked her blog to a site that stated DAVE KNECHEL WILL DIE IN 666 DAYS. That's something to be proud of. Dipshit. Her blog is called Dave Knechel Sucks. There's some very sick people out there. She tells everyone she owns me.
They think THEY are normal and WE are a menace.
I don't know exactly who is credited with this saying, but believe it's very true:
"Hatred is like acid, it destroys the vessel that contains it"
Dave, I hope these people move on but feel sorry for whoever becomes their new obsession.